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Listmania 2008! Part Two

December 19, 2008

Yet again, The FADER and an assortment of family and friends present Listmania (the 2008 edition). Although we're always looking ahead, we're also about tradition. So like previous years, this edition of Listmania doesn't really have a best album or best singles list, but it does contain massive amounts of real talk.
Read part one here and check out part two after the jump.

Top Two “The A.R.E. Weapons Of 2009”*

2. Telepathe

1. Amazing Baby

* We like A.R.E. Weapons

Top Eight Emotional Lyrics As Sung By Guys

8. Hercules and Love Affair, “Easy”: Walk, walk slowly/ There is nowhere to get to

7. Ladyhawk, “Fear”: I just wanna feel something other than fear/ I don’t wanna go back but I can’t stay here/ I just wanna taste something other than tears/ I don’t wanna go home but I can’t stay here anymore now

6. Abe Vigoda, “The Garden”: Look in my eyes, for I am your brother

5. Deerhunter, “Agoraphobia”: Comfort me

4. Wavves, “Friends Were Gone”: No, it’s never gonna be this lonely again/ But you’re always gonna be that guy without those friends

3. Kanye West, “Welcome to Heartbreak”: My friend showed me pictures of his kids and I could show him was pictures of my cribs/ He said his daughter got a brand new report card and all I got was a brand new sports car

2. Wild Yaks, “River May Come”: Water so cold/ My skin and bones are freezing/ Oh I never thought I’d grow so old

1. Mt. Eerie, “Lost Wisdom”: I used to know you/ Now I don’t

Schnipper’s Top Nine Slept On Releases

9. Lia Ices, Necima

8. Alla, Es Tiempo

7. Fabulous Diamonds, Fabulous Diamonds

6. Watussi, “If All We Had Was Love” 12-inch

5. Ladyhawk, Shots

4. Born Ruffians, Red Yellow and Blue

3. Wild Beasts, Limbo Panto

2. No Kids, Come Into My House

1. Mt. Eerie, Lost Wisdom

Top Two Directions To Go In "Got Money"

2. This-a-way

1. That-a-way

Top Five Rap Reissues

5. Deltron 3030, self-titled

4. Siah & Yeshua dapoED, The Visualz Anthology

3. Arabian Prince, Innovative Life: The Anthology 1984-1989

2. Steinski, What Does It All Mean? 1983-2006 Retrospective

1. Jurassic 5, J5 Deluxe

Top Four Office Sneezes

4. Erin Hansen whisper sneeze

3. Rosemary Simon sneeze followed by quiet apology

2. Matthew Schnipper machine gun sneeze

1. Chioma Nnadi scream sneeze, followed by loud sigh of relief

Top Two Waviest Artists of 2008 (In Order of Waviness)

2. Wavves

1. Max B

Editorial Assistant Felipe Delerme’s Top Three FADER-Powered Feats of Strength

3. Playing basketball against Play n Skillz

2. Doing pull-ups in Jim Jones’ studio

1. Dancing through an entire Blaqstarr set

Top Eleven ’90s Baby Charles Hamilton Samples That Made ’80s Babies Smile.

11. Portrait, “Here We Go”

10. The Offspring “Self Esteem”

9. Madonna, “Human Nature”

8. India Arie, “Ready For Love”

7. Vince Guaraldi “Linus and Lucy”

6. Staind, “Outside”

5. R.Kelly, “Your Body’s Callin”

4. The Outfield, “Your Love”

3. Gene Wilder, “Pure Imagination”

2. Zombie Nation, “Kernkraft 400”

1. Xscape, “Who Can I Run To”

Top Four Ladyhawk Beards (Ranked By Density)

4. Ryan Peters

3. Sean Hawryluk

2. Duffy Driediger

1. Darcy Hancock

Top Five Things Picturebox's Dan Nadel Enjoyed in 2008

5. Finding and beginning to correspond with '70s airbrush artist Philip Castle. And '70s airbrush art in general. (See: Overspray: Riding High With The Kings of California Airbrush Art)

4. Joe Bradley's show at CANADA. Mean, lean, beautiful art-making. Fearless.

3. Three words: ON THE BEACH

2. Frank Santoro's brilliant two-page contribution to Kramer's Ergot 7. He makes paintings via offset printing processes. A lost art that he is the sole practitioner of.

1. Peter Saul retrospective at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Art. Saul is perhaps America’s greatest living painter, and this retrospective shows him to be as ahead of his time in 1960 as he is now. Every last one of these new-fangled “doodle artists” or Juxtapoz-type people should take note. Saul is the root and the king. No one combined image making with brushwork like he did (and does). Plus, as a human being he’s badder than bad. The Dirty Harry of painting.

FADER Photographer Of The Year! (Ranked By How Often Their Work Appeared In Our Magazine In 2008)

6. Andrew Dosunmu: 44 pages

5. Leonie Purchas: 48 pages

4. Peter Van Agtmael: 52 pages

3. Jason Nocito: 55 pages

2. Gabriele Stabile: 76 pages

1. Krisanne Johnson: 78 pages

Top Six Celebrity Sightings Near The FADER’s LA Office

6. Nick Warnock, from the first season of The Apprentice, in our building’s elevator, multiple times.

5. Jack & Sharon Osbourne, waiting for a real estate agent in front of the loft condos across the street.

4. Bob Odenkirk, from Mr. Show, in Borders gift wrapping a book.

3. Ewen Bremner, the guy who played Spud in Trainspotting, looking for the entrance to Borders.

2. Tony Hale, the guy who played Buster on Arrested Development, outside Baja Fresh.

1. Zachary Quinto, the guy who plays Sylar on Heroes and the future young Spock, waiting for his food at Baja Fresh.

FADER contributor Daniel Arnold’s Top Ten Things Of 2008

10. "Congratulatinos": Hands down the best typo of 2008.

9. Edward Bostitch is the best band that formed in 2008. Edward Bostitch is the best band that split up in 2008.

8. Soy Boy Smoked Tofu: There’s not a more delicious product on the market. Not joking.

7. Opting out: Was there a Misshapes in 2008? Were there any expensive, short-lived fashion trends? Did anybody go to any cool parties? I didn’t. Everybody’s too poor (see #3 thing of ‘08) to be an asshole this year and I couldn’t be happier. Staying home in a T-shirt is a cool party.

6. It’s obviously the best website.

5. Fort Tilden: The best part of living in New York City is leaving New York City. A weekday when the sun is out at the beach at Fort Tilden feels like a month in a great novel nobody else read when the sand gets into your swiss cheese and tomato sandwiches and makes them crunchy.

4. R&B: Thanks for getting good again.

3. The Recession, not to be a spoiled jerk or anything: Yeah the money’s low and the jobs are few, but the lowest common denominator has never been higher or wider. The ultra-rich have canceled their winter safaris and birthday presents and all of a sudden can only afford the shitty stuff all the rest of us are stuck with. What does this mean? First of all, less shitty stuff to go around. Never a bad thing. Second of all, more poor people. And while more poor people means more crime, less jewelry, etc, it also means more sex and better music. Better art. Who would you rather: Vampire Weekend or Wild Yaks? Ian Ziering or DJ Jazzy Jeff? Seeee? I can’t afford a TV since I moved (see #1 thing of ‘08) and I’ve never been so productive! Used to be I’d watch game shows or old Seinfelds until the middle of the night. Now I make collages and experiment with weird ingredients and make ill-advised phone calls and write true stories about subjects like loneliness, hunger and unjustifiable anger. What a magic time for the United States!

2. Brandon Kim: When we “accidentally” kissed, it changed my life.

1. Peek-A-Boo: At the end of the summer I moved into a Hasidic neighborhood so insulated that the little girls—children of Brooklyn-natives who have never set foot in Eastern Europe—have thick Polish accents. Every day of the last two months of warm weather a group of these girls, all in literally the exact same homemade jumpers, would congregate on my stoop to play this super far out game. They won’t talk to me, so I don’t exactly know the name or objective, but as far as I can tell, it’s to kick over a cardboard box full of plastic forks and freak out. The way it’s played is that one girl covers her eyes and chants in this spooky Slavic deadpan that carries all across the block, “Peekahhh-boo fawteen thuhteen twelve elaaah-ven, ten noin eight sahhh-ven, six foiv faw three two one, ZEHH-RO!” And that’s when everybody freaks out. Easily the best thing in ‘08. Any information you have on this game would be immensely appreciated.

FADER Contributor Scott Wright's Little Boots YouTube Video Recap, Listed Chronologically

1. "Stuck On Repeat (Acoustic Pyjamas Version)": "WHO IS LITTLE BOOTS?" asks the internet. No one knows, but she jams in her bedroom wearing cute Paul Frank monkey pyjamas. Debut appearance by sidekick Gold Cat. (Posted 02.02)

2. "Sexy No No No (f. Mrs Chinaski)": Girls Aloud cover with piano, vocoder and a drum machine-wielding friend. Gold Cat promoted to prominent spot at front of frame. (Posted 02.25)

3. "Don't You Want Me": The Human League, plaid shirt, big furry hat with pom poms, "well embarrassing swaying thing." Gold Cat now has a platform. (Posted 03.11)

4. "What Is Love": Haddaway cover, living room, disco hairband, a bit of leg, keyboard played on feet. Gold Cat joined by a floppy chef doll thing called Seedz. (Posted 03.17)

5. "Wearing My Rolex": Seminal performance. Little Boots sings "babble" instead of "bubble" due to Google lyric search failure, not bad cockney accent. Gold Cat collapses during rave chord frenzy. (Posted 04.08 )

6. "American Boy": Raps better than Kanye. Gold Cat and Seedz joined by a babooshka doll called Babooshka Doll. Posse deep. (Posted 04.29)

7. "Ready For The Floor": Blonde hair! Tenorion! Hot Chip cover! Played in the dark. Hot Chip album title reference? Gold Cat, Seedz and Babooshka Doll take back seat this time round. (posted 06.17)

8. "Heartbreaker": Will.I.Am & Cheryl Cole cover with segue into Metronomy for the breakdown. Piano, Tenorion, clapping (whilst playing chords). Complicated looking plaited hair. (Posted 06.23)

9. "Boyfriend (f. Super Cool Little Bro)": Alphabeat cover in hometown of Blackpool, joined by younger brother on electric drums. Man runs down stairs in background. Bottles of beer replace Gold Cat, Seedz and Babooshka. (Posted 08.25 )

10."We're Back": Gold Cat returns! Joined by a small white horse. Heartbreak cover. In a kitchen. (Posted 09.08)

11. "Bullet In The Gun": Noticeably longer hair. Tenorion and piano cover of trance classic. Gold Cat rolls solo. (Posted 10.17)

12. "Dancing Therapy (f. Heartbreak)": Celebrity guests! International Music System cover with tourmates Heartbreak on piano and keyboard. Gold Cat and friends notably absent. (Posted 11.17)

13. "Last Christmas": Wham cover with electronic sleighbells, scarf and festive headpiece. Back in the bedroom! Gold Cat returns! Joined by Big Blue Horse and cheap USB Christmas tree! (Posted 12.02)

Top Ten Things Someone Should Have Told You About In 2008 According To Mec From Clothing Line 21MC

10. Network: Linked In (worldwideweb)

9. Footwear: TOMS Shoes (Santa Monica, CA)

8. eco Bags: Matt & Nat (Montreal, QU)

7. Travel: Bolt Bus (NY/DC/PA)

6. Cartoon: The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (Cartoon Network)

5. New Media: The New Pop (Brooklyn, NY)

4. Restaurant: Stuff I Eat (Inglewood , CA)

3. Dealer: Rxlngr (Brooklyn, NY)

2. Web Show: Dante Fried Chicken Show (worldwideweb)

1. Fashion: 21MC (NY/SF/LDN)

Top Seven Indie Acts Mec From 21MC Pretends To Be While In The Shower

7. The Carps (Toronto, ON)

6. Playdoe (South Africa)

5. Arthur Lewis (Sunnyside, NY)

4. J*Davey (Los Angeles, CA)

3. Noisettes (London, UK)

2. Buke and Gass (Brooklyn, NY)

1. Muhsinah (Washington, DC)

Bonus: 00Genesis (Silverspring, MA). This 18 year old wunderkind is mostly instrumental so instead of singing I hum the hell out of the tunes and mash down on my shower gel cap like it’s some kind of midi device.

Top Eleven Thank Yous From Dizzy Reed In The Chinese Democracy Liner Notes

11. Hookers and Blow—the band and the concept

10. Michael and all the poker crew

9. The Captain

8. Harry and every one who has ever been a Haptone

7. Everyone who was or is a Starfucker

6. Deb and then entire Koberstein clan

5. Kasey for saving my life

4. EVERY couch or extra bed in Hollywood for the last 22 years

3. Del James

2. Those Fuckin Ghosts from the Village

1. All of my Brothers in Thousand Oaks and all the wonderful friends and family there as well

Top Seven Hotels Thanked By Axl Rose In The Chinese Democracy Liner Notes

7. Trump Hotel

6. Four Seasons

5. Ritz Hotel

4. The Palms

3. Hard Rock Hotel

2. Grand Hyatt all over the world

1. Mandarin Oriental in London

Top Five Favorite People Tatted On Rick Ross's Chest

5. The Mac

2. Benjamin Franklin

3. Abraham Lincoln

2. Lady Justice

1. Richard Pryor

Top Five Surprise Swag Of 2008

5. Rick Ross with no shirt on

4. Blizzard Man

3. Kanye's summer dad half-fro

2. Robert Downey Jr

1. Pregnant MIA

Top Three Revelations When Burial Posted A Picture Of Himself

3. He's not a computer program

2. He's not ugly

1. He's not old

Top Seven Most Off Message "Paper Planes" Freestyle Verses

7. Trey Songz

6. Young Chris

5. 50 Cent

4. Freeway

3. Kid Cudi

2. Rick Ross

1. Jim Jones

Top Three Appearances By A Puppet In A Music Video In 2008 (Year Of The Puppet)

3. Turtlenecked Alex Turner of The Last Shadow Puppets on FADER TV's Open Bar show

2. Old sailor in Anthony Seck's video for Feist's "Honey Honey"

1. Bodysuited Kanye West in Neon's video for Kanye West's "Champion"

Nick Catchdubs' Top Five BBC Radio Mixes of 2008

Between Annie Mac's impeccable selections on her show and Pete Tong's big-room tastemaking on his namesake broadcast and as host of the legendary Essential Mix, I found myself listening to streams and downloads from the BBC more than anything else this year - and not just to check if they were playing Fool's Gold! These were my five favorites for '08, all of which were streaming-only at the time (but remain readily available from DJ Google, shhh...)

5. Flying Lotus Essential Mix (11-29-08)

One of this year's legitimate beat phenoms connects the dots between dubstep, Dilla and Dorothy Ashby. LA vs London, guess who wins...

4. Calvin Harris Essential Mix (10-18-08)

I would have thrown this on the list just because he made a custom Izza Kizza remix for it, but Calvin's mix is surprisingly diverse and enjoyable throughout. Who would have pegged this spazzy funkster as a Deadmau5 superfan?

3. Laidback Luke Essential Mix (02-23-08)

This year more people than ever before were introduced to the signature thump of Laidback Luke (ahem! AHEM!) and his mix—timed just a few weeks before Winter Music Conference—was a perfect introduction to the Dutchman's gleefully unpretentious combo of new and old house flavors (he even goes as far as to shout out his own heroes over Daft Punk's "Teachers"—it's pretty adorable).

2. A-Trak and Erol Alkan Essential Mix (Live at Annie Mac Presents) (11-15-08)

Essential mixes are rarely live club recordings, but this one is infinitely better thanks to the setting—skips, sweat and all. My homeboy drops DJ Sneak edits and guido club bangers while FADER 10th anniversary innovator Erol battles malfunctioning CD turntables to create a druggy collection of new, distorted techno (go buy Jan Driver's "Rat Alert" and Style Of Eye's "Ona" on Beatport right now!) Does Bournemouth always get this live?

1. Fake Blood Minimix for Annie Mac (12-12-08)

It's hard not to shudder every time this pops up on someone else's year-end lists, but take solace in the fact that Fake Blood's five-minute masterpiece does audio collage EXACTLY the way it should be done. One of 2008's most in-demand producers throws together a grab bag of wildly diverse, seamlessly interwoven (and in-key!) snippets, including the best use of Bad Brains since that Obama shirt. Yes we can!

Top Five Things That FADER Contributing Editor T. Cole Rachel Imagines Might Happen At The Fleetwood Mac Concert He'll Ne Attending In 2009

5. I will twirl, wear a lace shawl and scream hysterically at the
opening strains of "Rhiannon"

4. Madison Square Garden will be filled with a lot of slightly
rougher-looking, fiftysomething versions of Stevie Nicks and I will be
obsessed with all of them

3. Stevie Nicks will cast a spell over the audience by playing a
ribbon-covered tambourine. Lindsay Buckingham will be cool

2. Christine McVie will actually show up to perform "You Make Lovin'
Fun" and blow everyone's minds

1. I will cry

Top Five Questions FADER Contributing Editor T. Cole Rachel Has Been Asked While Playing Records At Heathers (With Corresponding Answers)

5. Q: Is that a picture of a bear showing its vagina on the wall
behind you? A: Yes. Absolutely.

4. Q: Who sings this song? A: Steely Dan (accompanied by high five).

3. Q: Who sings this song? A: Fleetwood Mac (accompanied by eye rolling).

2. Q: Can you play hip-hop or reggae? A: Not unless Hall & Oates made
a hip-hop album that I don't know about.

1. Q: Why are you so shy? A: Because I'm playing records right now,
not trying to talk to drunk girls.

FADER Contributing Editor T. Cole Rachel's Top Ten Ceramic Cats Of 2008

Occasional FADER Contributor, Infinite Contrarian And (Music) Snob In The Best Meaning Of The Word Simon Greenberg's Top Ten Slept On Releases Of 2008

11. Anders Illar Sworn: German techno with cluster synths. Music for the clenched ass.

10. Fricara Pacchu Midnight Pyre: This is the most exuberantly joyful post-goth synth drone punk music I've ever heard. It's from Finland. There are a lot of things going for it. But it had the worst publicity line ever. Something like if nine inch nails made video game soundtracks or some shit. Ouch.

9. Bohagon Crunk N HD: This is the only great mixtape I heard all year (sorry Wayne).

8. Grails Doomsdayer's Holiday: There is nothing particularly special about this record, except that it's one complete thought, well-expressed. I find that comforting.

7. Bulbs Light Ships: If Black Dice had a precocious little brother wearing a beanie cap with a little propeller on it and he was a band and made a record, it would be this.

6. Betty Botox Mmm Betty mix: No one ever partied to these songs at the time. No one parties to them now. But constructing the idea of someone partying to them and making people believe it is fantastic.

5. Lil Keke Universal Ghetto Pass: If you are going to eat pills, you could do a lot worse.

4. Shonky Time Zero: This shit is so fucking French buzzcut and Vespa it's ridiculous. But totally righteous.

3. R Kelly 12 Play 4th Quarter: DROP TOP TWO SEATER ME AND MY BITCHES. [ed. note: this was never officially released.]

2. Dragging an Ox Through Water The Tropics of Phenomenon: I probably played this five times this year. But this record will sit around and continue to sound good. I can imagine pulling this out in ten years and thinking about 2008 and some shit like this, just one guy's view of a specific place and time. which will be excellent.

1. Wiz Khalifa "Say Yeah": I probably played this shit five hundred times this year.

Top Five Biggest, Boldest Stylee Statements For 2008

5. Roisin Murphy wearing Gareth Pugh

4. Taz Arnold in the front row of Dior Homme wearing a store's worth
of MCM on his back

3. Rick Ross sans chemise

2. MIA pregnant, hot and in spandex

1. Swag splash. Jim and Julez trade in their bandanas for silky Louis

Top Five Songs FADER Executive Editor Julianne Escobedo Shepherd Listened To On Election Day

5. Young Jeezy f. Nas, “My President is Black”

4. Chubbie Baby f. Don Cannon, “Black Hollywood”

3. Ghostface Killa, “Computer Love”

2. Assassin, “Surveillance”

1. Beyonce, “Diva”

FADER Illustrators Beyond the Pages of the Magazine

• Ian Wright, T.I.'s The Paper Chase

• Mario Hugo, unpublished sleeve for Beck's Modern Guilt

• Vania Zouravliov, for his book Vania

• Sam Weber, Pillar of Salt (Illustrator we'd most like to work with in the next 12 months, schedules permitting)

A Map of Where FADER Went in 2008

Posted: December 19, 2008
Listmania 2008! Part Two