Elohim is the special kind of artist that I don't really get, and therefore listen obsessively. As a producer, she's impossible to pin down. At times she's so poppy as to be almost carnival-like, others grinding and maybe-even-too-NIN for my taste, then practically a shadow on quiet interludes like "Enemies," which separate her biggest songs on Elohim, her debut album, out today.
She played Coachella this year, one of many festivals she's got in 2018, and meticulously RT'd fans afterward — they're passionate, it's impossible to ignore, and I think it's partly due to Elohim's unfailing openness about anxiety and depression, both in her lyrics and in interviews, which I believe she solely conducts over email. That's how we did ours.
What was your experience onstage at Coachella?
First weekend I wasn't nervous, which is kind of strange for me but also a massive relief. I was genuinely happy, excited, and having so much fun. I didn't know what to expect, especially playing such a massive stage so early in the day! I couldn't have been happier. I was full of pure joy the entire time I was onstage, it was incredible. I had that feeling where even if I tried, I could not stop smiling.
It was a rare experience for me, but very real and incredibly emotional. The tent was full of humans who were there to give and receive love and I felt all of that on an unconditional basis. It was truly spectacular, and I am not sure I will ever be able to put into words what it really felt like. It was beautiful and surreal all at once, truly an out of body experience.
“Panic Attacks” really resonated with me — simply love SSRI side effects lol, shout out to my weight gain. It seems like you use your position as an artist to try and help fans or at least reassure them through sharing your own stories — were there other musicians who did that for you? Both as a fan and IRL?
It is important to me to be as candid and honest as possible. Most people close to me know I am an open book and will talk about anything and everything no matter how personal. I have not spoken publicly about this yet, but I recently started an SSRI medication. When I hit rock bottom with panic disorder, depression, and anxiety I knew i needed to get help. After I started therapy and began to share my own experiences, it became clear something was very off.
Initially, I was beyond scared to get help, and the thought of starting a medication… "Me? that is crazy i don't need that." It turns out that right now I do, and that decision has completely changed my life in the best possible way. I find myself enjoying life, smiling, laughing, and being able to face life logically. I am totally and completely energized and feel like myself (opposed to a drug like Xanax that only numbed the pain).
In all honesty there wasn't really anyone that spoke openly about this that i knew of, which is a big reason why I wanted to share my story. It took a lot of courage and support to be my best self and I want to share that hope with others. The messages i have received have moved me to tears. I am very grateful to be able to be there for others that are struggling. My mission is to share my love and experiences so others feel less alone, helpless, and scared like I once did.
The album has a lot of shorter, more interlude-y tracks. Can you talk about why you like making songs like that?
Interludes are my absolute favorite thing to make. It is like the dessert or treat in between songs. I feel this freedom to go as weird as possible and expel boundaries, rules, or pressure of creating a song in the traditional sense. "Water Baby" is one in particular that is very special to me. My grandmother passed away last year, and I had kept this message of her wishing me happy birthday saved on my phone. Shortly afterwards, I used that as the basis for a piece I was creating and sang into my laptop speakers at my dining room table. It is one of my favorite things I have made to this day. I played it for my mom recently and we both cried uncontrollably.
What are you looking forward to doing once the album is out? Both non-musically and on the summer tour?
Everything in my life is music related in someway or another and I am totally OK with that. I have finally hit my stride and am enjoying my travels and experiences as a musician, so I look forward to whatever that may bring. Playing Red Rocks and Electric Forest for the first time are certainly two things I am excited about.