The astrological signs as J. Lo songs

Let your inner diva shine this Leo season.

Illustration The FADER
July 23, 2018
The astrological signs as J. Lo songs Kamal Sellehuddin / Getty Images

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Welcome to the start of Leo season, also known as the eve of Jennifer Lopez’s birthday. As the sun moves into the fire sign's constellation, celebrate bold, dramatic energy with a pop anthem for your zodiac sign from our triple-Leo queen J. Lo.

Aries

“On the Floor”

Most Aries lyric: “If you go hard, you gotta get on the floor / If you’re a party freak, then step on the floor.”

Why: Aries have energy for days, and “On the Floor” is a dance bop written to make crowds sweaty. J. Lo sings about classic Aries themes of: party people, forcing other people to clap, evading sleep in favor of drunken dancing, never quitting, and staying forever young. The chorus of “La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la” sounds like an Aries drowning out your argument, and the beat is perfect for a night out.

Taurus

“Jenny From The Block”

Most Taurus lyric: “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got / I’m still, I’m still Jenny from the block / Used to have a little, now I have a lot / No matter where I go I know where I came from (From the Bronx!)”

Why: The song is Taurus through and through. Mentions of riches and being in total control of your money feel indicative of Taurus’s inclination towards materialism, but the grounded attitude and shoutouts to her hometown are what make this the Taurus song of choice. Tauruses are nothing if not consistent, and this is J. Lo telling the world that fame will never change her. Tauruses never change — not for you, not for anyone. She was Jenny from the block then, and she is Jenny from the block now.

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Gemini

“Play”

Most Gemini lyric: “Play, come on play that song (now Mr. DJ) / Play it all night long (I've asked you three times already) / DJ, just play that song / Just turn it up and turn it on (play my motherfuckin' song!)”

Why: “Play,” a.k.a. one of the most underrated J. Lo songs of all time, tells the tale of J. Lo going to the club and repeatedly requesting a song while growing sassier as the DJ ignores her. Gemini is a social, fun-loving sign, and they’re so specific about their many mood swings that they have a song ready for every type of evening imaginable. They are absolutely the person who takes over the aux cord in the Uber and pesters the DJ about when their song is coming on. Plus, they have the energy to stay up all night dancing with their friends and annoying you until they hear what they want.

Cancer

“Waiting For Tonight”

Most Cancer lyric: “I think of the days when the sun used to set / On my empty heart, all alone in my bed / Tossing and turning / Emotions were strong / I knew I had to hold on”

Why: Cancer is one of the most romantic signs of all. They are sweet, sentimental types known for their imaginations. When in love, their love life is everything to them, though they can sometimes struggle with being too passive. “Waiting for Tonight” is a throwback to J. Lo’s first album, and it's about the excitement of waiting for a highly romantic night with her lover that she's fantasized about. It checks off all of the boxes for Cancer behaviors — nostalgia for an early hit, sentimentality, idealism, romance, and waiting for things to happen to you.

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Leo

“Get Right”

Most Leo lyric: “You’re saying not quite enough to me / You’re sipping just a little too slow for me / No doubt you play it real cool, homie / Got me thinking what is it you do for me / Tripping a little more than I should be / So let yourself go and get right with me”

Why: A moment of silence to honor our triple Leo queen, Jennifer Lopez. A legend, a singer, a dancer, a fashionista, a woman Leonardo DiCaprio refers to as “boo boo,” an enigma, an American Idol judge, a mother, an icon. If you approach this woman, you must do so correctly. Pay her respect! This woman is pop royalty, which makes perfect sense because Leo is the sign of royalty and success. Leos love to laugh and indulge in simply having fun, appreciate attention, and expect to be treated well. “Get Right” is a fun dance song perfect for a Leo party with a beat that is begging you to wear an amazing outfit and whip your hair the way J. Lo does in the video (in which she plays all of the characters, because of course as a Leo, every frame belongs to her).

Virgo

“I’m Real (Murder Remix)”

Most Virgo lyric: “Now people loving me and hating me, treating me ungratefully / But not knowing that they ain't making or breaking me / My life I live it to the limit and I love it / Now I can breathe again, baby, now I can breathe again”

Why: Easily the most outwardly chill Jennifer Lopez song, “I’m Real” has a slower beat and feels more like a song that makes you casually bop your head while someone loads a bowl, than a song for taking shots on the dance floor. Ask yourself, Which of those parties would a Virgo rather be at? Beyond that, though, Virgo is an earth sign known for their realistic outlook, self-awareness, intelligence, and work ethic. They’re patient, unpretentious people — they’re real.

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Libra

“Booty”

Most Libra lyric: “You wanna meet her, you gotta touch her / Hold on tight for the ride / 'Cause you know you gonna love her”

Why: Hear me out here — the part of the body Libra rules is the booty. And also the lower back and kidneys but most importantly the booty. Some important Libra asses to rouse the memory — Kim Kardashian, Amber Rose, Dakota Johnson, Cardi B.

Scorpio

“If You Had My Love”

Most Scorpio lyric: “If you had my love, and I gave you all my trust, would you comfort me? / And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue, would you lie to me and call me baby?”

Why: This is arguably J. Lo’s most openly skeptical song. Jennifer Lopez is a classic Leo, but she does have a sneaky, sexy Scorpio moon. In this song, she tests her lover in true Scorpio fashion, going through the usual methods of questioning trust and ensuring full devotion before confirming that the right to her love has been earned.

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Sagittarius

“Let’s Get Loud”

Most Sagittarius lyric: “If you wanna live your life / Live it all the way, and don't you waste it / Every feeling, every beat / Can be so very sweet, you gotta taste it”

Why: Sagittarius is a fun-loving sign of vitality. They’re known for a love of travel, new experiences, and not taking things too seriously. They like to explore novel ideas and spaces, and are characterized by a bold commitment to honesty. As worst, they can be loud and tactless. At best, they are brave daredevils that embody the spirit of adventure! I mean, the Sagittarius motto is basically “let’s get loud.”

Capricorn

“Dinero”

Most Capricorn lyric: “They say money talk, but my talking bilingual / I should be cuffed, though, ’cause I don’t do singles / In love with the money, so no need to mingle.”

Why: Capricorn is a sign grounded in reality and practicality. They’re hard workers who spend a lot of time thinking about how to plan the best life for themselves, not by simply dreaming of a better future, but by setting goals and making genuine daily efforts to accomplish them. The lyrics of “Dinero” translate to “I want money.” and that’s all Capricorns want — to make that cash money.

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Aquarius

“Ain’t Your Mama”

Most Aquarius lyric: “We used to be crazy in love / Can we go back to how it was? / When did you get too comfortable? / 'Cause I'm too good for that, I'm too good for that.”

Why: Aquarius is one of the most independent signs in the zodiac, and they expect that anyone who wants to date them be just as self-sufficient. They are true individuals, and no matter how caring or giving they are towards their partners and friends, they won’t stick around for someone who expects them to cook, clean, and coddle them. J. Lo channels this spirit in “Ain’t Your Mama,” a song that asserts the correct statement that she should never have to treat her man like a child. I mean, come on, that’s way too much emotional labor for an Aquarius.

Pisces

“Love Don’t Cost A Thing”

Most Pisces lyric: “You think you gotta keep me iced (you don’t) / You think I'm gonna spend your cash (I won’t) / Even if you were broke / My love don't cost a thing.”

Why: As the last sign in the zodiac year, Pisces is considered one of the most empathetic, giving, and emotional signs. They are also the sign most closely tied to spirituality, and as a result, they tend to place much more emphasis on the value of love, emotion, and otherworldly pursuits than material satisfactions. This can at times lead to being spacey and out of touch, but more importantly makes them generous, nonjudgmental, loving people.

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The astrological signs as J. Lo songs