How to help in the George Floyd protests and beyond.

Pete Doherty’s infected hedgehog hospitalization is, unfortunately, the best hedgehog news today

While we deal with the Sonic The Hedgehog trailer, the frontman of The Libertines is handling a nasty hand wound.

April 30, 2019
Pete Doherty’s infected hedgehog hospitalization is, unfortunately, the best hedgehog news today (L) Pete Doherty on stage in France. July 16, 2016. (R) A screencap from the trailer for Sonic The Hedgehog   (L) photo by FRED TANNEAU/AFP/Getty Images

It's not been a good 24 hours for hedgehogs. First, the official trailer for the film adaptation of SEGA's video game property Sonic The Hedgehog dropped. It looks like dogshit that's been focus-grouped into a more massive pile of dogshit, then given doll eyes and a disgusting skinny body that expends its energy by running really fast, and with one-liners that are total dogshit. It also stars Jim Carrey, who's returning to acting after a feud with the granddaughter of Italian dictator Benito Mussolini.

ADVERTISEMENT

Now, unfortunate news out of London. On Tuesday, Libertines frontman Pete Doherty had a run-in with a real life hedgehog that sent him to the hospital: “Zeus and Narco had the cute wee verminous Shnuffle shuffle Pig of the the Hedge in their gobs.” These are not Skepta lyrics, but rather Doherty's explanation: he was walking his two dogs when one of them got into it with a hedgehog. Doherty tried to save it, wounding himself in the process. See his tweets announcing the fracas below:

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

It's fuck hedgehogs all 2020.

Pete Doherty’s infected hedgehog hospitalization is, unfortunately, the best hedgehog news today