It's not been a good 24 hours for hedgehogs. First, the official trailer for the film adaptation of SEGA's video game property Sonic The Hedgehog dropped. It looks like dogshit that's been focus-grouped into a more massive pile of dogshit, then given doll eyes and a disgusting skinny body that expends its energy by running really fast, and with one-liners that are total dogshit. It also stars Jim Carrey, who's returning to acting after a feud with the granddaughter of Italian dictator Benito Mussolini.
Now, unfortunate news out of London. On Tuesday, Libertines frontman Pete Doherty had a run-in with a real life hedgehog that sent him to the hospital: “Zeus and Narco had the cute wee verminous Shnuffle shuffle Pig of the the Hedge in their gobs.” These are not Skepta lyrics, but rather Doherty's explanation: he was walking his two dogs when one of them got into it with a hedgehog. Doherty tried to save it, wounding himself in the process. See his tweets announcing the fracas below:
It's fuck hedgehogs all 2020.