On Wednesday, the United States Congress hosted a hearing on a bill to study the effects of slavery reparations. The voices in support of the bill include Ta-Nehisi Coates, who expanded on his landmark 2014 essay "The Case For Reparations."
Coleman Hughes, a columnist for the shitty "free thought" website Quilette, spoke in the anti-reparations lane. His vigorously booed statement was essentially a rehash of long-worn talking points dismantled by Ta-Nahesi Coates in his own address, but there is something to be gained from his appearance: not long after, Franklin Leonard pointed out on Twitter that Coleman is also a SoundCloud rapper called Coldman with a track called "My Dick Works."
The song, and most of the My Dick Works Fine! project, is a Kid Cudi-Logic hybrid with the vibe of a house party only the debate team got invited to. The cringiest part, as you might expect, is the refrain of "Hello fuck nigga, my dick works," screwed up-Houston style.
After Leonard's tweet, Coleman shared his own link to his music in an attempt to seem Totally Fine With It. "For those of you googling (sorry, 'unearthing') my publicly-available rap music, I'll make it easier," Coleman wrote. However, Leonard never tweeted the word "unearth" or suggested that Coleman was hiding his musical output — which makes me wonder just how Totally Fine Coleman really is with these revelations.
Let's run through those songs:
1) "Hey" contains brags about his grades ("As and Bs"), never having measured his penis, and the most borderline-oedipal bars since "Mama's Boyfriend" by Kanye West.
2) "Fake" is the "trigger the libs" portion of the project. It rails against woke culture and contains the line "Jesus Christ was a faggot and Mary a pussy magnet / Jehovah was bending over so Moses could fucking tap it."
3) "New Sneakers" doesn't contain any obvious clunkers, and the production is alright, but I'm still not feeling it. Then again, maybe it's a grower, not a shower.
Another track on My Dick Works Fine! — I feel like it has to be stressed that he chose this name for his album — is called "I Still Can't Fart Around You." Cool. Maybe Coleman will discuss the project more in depth during his inevitable Joe Rogan podcast appearance.