Blarf would like his music played at colonoscopies

“You guys are watching TheFader.net. TheFader.com was bought by the Freemasons.”

July 19, 2019

Look, it's not that we didn't know roughly what we were getting into when we invited noise rap artist and uncanny Eric André lookalike Blarf to The FADER offices for a round of Top 5. It's just that we didn't expect him to open up his ranking of the best places to play Blarf music by saying, "You guys are watching TheFader.net. TheFader.com was bought by the Freemasons."

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We didn't necessarily expect him to wear a balaklava, either, or to demand that his voice be pitched down like a kidnapper asking for ransom money. But there was always a chance that he'd insist that he's a Scientologist, tell us that his music "sounds like J Dilla fucked Aphex Twin," and say the words "typical Catholic shit" before referencing his own 12-minute noise song, "I Worship Satan."

Blarf thinks that his music would be perfect for a colonoscopy. That's about the most normal thing that happened during our interview, and it's one of the only things we're legally allowed to put in the headline to this post. Enjoy? Yes, sure, enjoy.

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Blarf would like his music played at colonoscopies