We didn’t have enough pull to send our interns on a sweater shopping spree with Drake while he was in town for Fashion Week, so we promised them the next-best New York experience: CMJ, with badges! While we’re holding it down at the FADER FORT by FIAT, Patrick Lyons, Sam Katz, Kiran Samuel and Parker Bruce will be hitting the streets, wiggling through publicists, bands, college DJs and regular Brooklyn drunks and reporting on the entire festival as it happens. Last night, Kiran and Parker ran around Williamsburg. They coveted cute clothes and talked in abbrevs, apparently young people’s preferred form of communication. Kiran thought Wise Blood was whatev then she saw them and was like, Oh, obvi they are awesome and sound like Limp Bizkit. What? Follow their nights out with Dive, Quilt, Zambri, Mr. Dream, Cerebral Ballzy, Light Asylum and more below.
KIRAN SAMUEL: I’m really wearing a backpack to these shows like a tool? Laptop, change of clothes, everything. At Cameo gallery, everyone is kinda cute and I haven’t even touched alcohol yet. Is that just Brooklyn?
PARKER BRUCE: Yep. everyone here is beautiful and young. It hurts the soul. Dive’s lead singer is being eaten by his oversized shirt! I want one, please. I like his bouncing stance too. This band is exactly the type of first band I wanted to hear. Perf.
KIRAN: This bass sounds incredible. KINDA WANNA DANCE. Everybody looks like they’re in a band. Are they? Is that just Brooklyn again?? BOTH?!
PARKER: Yes, yes, yes. Do people think we’re in a band?! A synth-pop duo, I hope. Let’s just get on stage.
KIRAN: Zambri’s lead is kinda GORG.
PARKER: Love her. This is right up my street: Niki and the Dove meets Zola synth wackness. Love the girl singing into three microphones.
KIRAN: Can’t decide whether to stay here for Wise Blood or head over to Afro-punk. Help!!!
PARKER: Stay for Wise Blood.
KIRAN: You were right about Wise Blood. Frontman Chris is currently stomping around the stage, like you said he would. He said, “If you’re not in the press, leave. This is CMJ. You only go to shows if you’re the press or you love me.” LOL. The place is getting fuller. The people wanna see the stomping Wise Blood! Don’t blame them. The melodies and his rap-singing sound like two avenues merging. Don’t mind it. At all. This is Limp Bizkit with better beats. He’s like a singing, slimmer Action Bronson.
PARKER: Bold statements. Crazy thing on ceiling of Glasslands. Looks so soft, like popcorn. Some of the guys in one band are just standing around, talking. One of them is wearing a Drake-worthy sweater. They’re playing “It’s Real” by Real Estate on the speakers. Shoutout to FADER #76.
KIRAN: Someone behind me is talking about FADER! Kinda feel like interrupting them and declaring my role.
PARKER: OK finally there are bands onstage. This one’s called Hollerado. They’re from Canada. In my bedroom there are books of architecture is the first lyric. Oh boy. Another song, “Fake Drugs” has a Weezer-like chorus. Group of bros in front are into it.
KIRAN: Just ran to Afro-punk. Drinking a cider, jamming out to Ninjasonik. Somali-looking girl with enviable fro is rocking out on the guitar. The show so far is reading as early 2000s. Faux mosh pit started. Nice effort? Only two songs in, it could pick up. Johnny Sierra, who’s going on tour with Spank Rock soon, joined Ninjasonik onstage. Crowd is officially hyped!! This got fun. They’re doing something over the Too Short, “Blow The Whistle” instrumental. I’m already twerkin. Now they’re performing “SOMEBODY GON GET PREGNANT.” On this beat? You’re probably right. Someone even threw their birth control on stage. There it is: I smell weed. It’s officially a party.