9 Songs That Defined Petty In 2014

These bros ain’t loyal.

1. Drake, "How Bout Now"

Pettiest line: Remember? When you had to take the bar exam/ I drove in the snow for you

Drake seemed to be fighting for the title King Petty the Prince this year—at least if you believe the rumors. There are many sad violin moments in this litany of "back then they didn't want me" moments, and they all ride on the slow grind of a Jodeci sample. To tell your ex-girlfriends they "suck" on a hook in the year 2014 is unmatched. Of course, Aubrey makes it an absolute hit, which is the pettiest act of all.


1. Drake, "How Bout Now"
2. Mike WiLL Made It f. Wiz Khalifa and Future, "Pussy Overrated"

Pettiest line: Now why you keep askin' when you can hit the weed/ When you know you should have one already rolled?

This from Wiz Khalifa, a dude who brags about carrying around more marijuana than anyone and spending a sizable amount on his vice. Also, releasing a song with this title just a few days after your wife announces she's divorcing you, allegedly because you were caught cheating. You can't make up this kind of pettiness.


2. Mike WiLL Made It f. Wiz Khalifa and Future, "Pussy Overrated"
3. Chris Brown f. Jhene Aiko, "Drunk Texting"

Pettiest line: If by chance there's someone else laying next to you right now/ I hope it's the worst sex ever

That's right. I's not enough that Chris and Jhene have resigned themselves to harassing you in the middle of the night—they also want to wish the worst hex on you because they're in their feelings. Feelings that have been brought on by an overzealous bottle service order. This ballad may be one of the best of the year, but it's still just a petty party.

3. Chris Brown f. Jhene Aiko, "Drunk Texting"
4. Big Sean f. E-40, "IDFWU"

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Pettiest line: I heard you got a new man, I see you takin' a pic/ Then you post it up, thinkin' that its makin' me sick

Call the whole thing off with your fiancée and then write a song where you repeat how much you don't care about or fuck with them. No seriously, do it. Tell her you HEARD she got a new man and you SAW the Instagram post but you don't give a fuck, cause you have a million, trillion things on your to do list. Don't worry, she'll never ask to see it.

4. Big Sean f. E-40, "IDFWU"
5. Chris Brown f. Lil Wayne and Too $hort, "Loyal"

Pettiest line: Just got rich / took a broke nigga bitch

There really is no pettiest line in "Loyal," a song so equally enjoyable and disgusting you practically have to pretend you don't understand English to dance without guilt. There's a Chris Rock joke about how women can dance to the most misogynist songs in the club. if there's one thing he gets, it's that.

5. Chris Brown f. Lil Wayne and Too $hort, "Loyal"
6. Trey Songz, "Cake"

Pettiest line: Ain't that what I'm sposed to do?/ Ain't I sposed to eat it too?

Trey Songz trolled us all, knowing that he has that smile and that nickname, Mr. Steal Yo Girl. "Cake" is him spreading fear in happy homes, leaving partners in fear that not only is she going to cheat but she's going to enjoy it to a whole nother level. Real nice, Tremaine.



6. Trey Songz, "Cake"
7. A$AP Rocky f. Juicy J, "Multiply"

Pettiest line: HBA shit is weak, you can keep that

Though most still feel unsure about why Rocky denounced his former designer friends, it was still done in a manner intended to create the most fuss. We know petty when we see it, even if it comes from a valid place.


7. A$AP Rocky f. Juicy J, "Multiply"
8. Drake, "Trophies" (Migos Remix)

Pettiest line: Smokin' on good marijuana in Mexico, call that quintana/ Tryna fuck me a Rihanna

In their FADER cover story, one of Migos' managers said that he almost wished Drake had never dropped a verse on "Versace," because Migos were never able to release the remix properly. So consider Migos' remix of Drake's "Trophies" the perfect faux revenge. The song's reimagined hook made this just as one of kind as Drake's press release verse for Versace."

8. Drake, "Trophies" (Migos Remix)
9. Future, "Monster"

Pettiest line: I don't be trustin' these hoes, I just be smashin' these hoes

You possibly cheated on your fiancée, who's also the mother of your child, while being a "monster on these hoes." But you're the one with trust issues? 2014 what a year you were!

9. Future, "Monster"

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9 Songs That Defined Petty In 2014