I know you’re wondering how I got here. How the fuck does someone have a sleepover with TLC? It’s the most random shit. I agree.
About three years ago, before I was employed here, The FADER donated to TLC’s Kickstarter campaign to help fund their final album. With a $5,000 donation, they bought a slumber party with T-Boz and Chilli, but the scheduling of it got put on the backburner until recently. That's how I found myself on the way to Atlanta last week to spend a night in a onesie with the legendary girl group.
Read below for everything you need to know about what went down.
1. Chilli and T-Boz are chill as fuck
There is an inevitable awkwardness involved in having a slumber party with people you’ve only just met, because, when does that ever happen? Regardless, both Chilli and T-Boz were warm and playful. We didn’t have any planned activities for the slumber party, but I think it turned out better that way. We mostly just talked, ate, watched scary movies, and played ding-dong-ditch. What I admired most about their personalities is that they seem to roll with the punches and don’t take anything too seriously.
2. Ding-dong-ditch is the G.O.A.T. hotel game and TLC are the best at playing it
After we ate some delicious snacks in the hotel room, Chilli asked us, “Y’all wanna knock on some doors?” I didn’t expect the game to be as fun as it was. We were very loud and very obnoxious. Apologies to the St. Regis Hotel!
Chilli and T-Boz mentioned that Left Eye was the best at the game, but she’d sometimes get the girls in trouble by marking her territory in front of hotel doors by drawing an eye with a line under it.
Oh, I also showed them my old Left Eye halloween costume, which I wore only for about 20 minutes in 2011 because I ate an edible for the first time and lost my mind. They laughed.
Anyway, back to ding-dong-ditch. Watch this video, it’s funny as shit:
3. Chilli is health-goals
I showed up to the function with a bottle of cabernet, and Chilli was not having it. She let me drink it, but she didn’t hold her tongue about the impact the “Devil’s Juice” — as she calls it — has on our livers. No one else wanted a glass, but I still drank my wine! Sorry, liver!
I’m not sure if Chilli is vegetarian, pescatarian, or vegan, but I do know her ability to defy aging is because she’s incredibly fit and healthy. I’m sure genetics has a lot to do with it, but, listen, she is basically a timeless human plant, and that’s not just genes. At one point during the slumber party, we all went to Whole Foods to grab food and snacks, and Chilli read the labels on everything. She knew which water had the best alkalinity, and she introduced us to a yummy dairy-free ice-cream bar. I don’t see myself giving up fried chicken, but I do see myself committing to a healthier lifestyle. Thanks, Chilli!
4. Sometimes the best slumber parties involve separate rooms
We each had our own rooms, but spent the majority of the night together in a room designated for the party. We spent a total of about 6 hours together, and called it a night after watching Amityville: The Awakening. In hindsight I think the movie might've been pretty bad, but with TLC's hilarious commentary and banter, it was really fun to watch. After the movie ended, we hugged and said our goodbyes. I went back to my room, made myself a warm bath, put on a face mask, and poured myself a little more of the "Devil's Juice."