We've entered the golden age of ASMR. Where there was once a dearth of tingles-inducing videos — or at least they were sequestered in a secret part of the internet — there is now an overabundance. It seems that every other day there is a new ASMR-themed video featuring some celebrity giving their best shot at making you relax by tapping various household items. I must say, as someone who's dabbled in enjoying ASMR, that most are mediocre, and for novelty purposes only. Which is totally fine! They never claimed to be professionals. But sometimes, a really good one appears and I file it away in the back of my head so I can pull it out whenever I have a particularly stressful work day.
Today, I'm sharing what I think are the best of the bunch. They are fun and effective, and even if you don't vibe with ASMR, they will probably give you a good chuckle because, objectively, ASMR videos are absurd to watch. And if you get converted — well, that's all the better.
1. Cardi B
As Cardi notes in this video for W Magazine, she's an avid ASMR watcher, which you can definitely tell in her 13-minute-long attempt. She massages a fuzzy rug (blanket?) and whisper-talks about her pregnancy, and it is so soothing, I almost fell asleep the first time I watched it. My favorite part comes around the six-minute mark, when she just repeats the word "swollen" a billion times.
2. Tierra Whack
You will never see a more psychotic ASMR video than this one, and I mean that in the best way possible. It is both absurdly entertaining, and rich in a diverse range of sounds: from fruit salad slurps, to seran wrap pops. The last minute gets especially crazy; props to the FUSE editing team.
3. Janet Jackson
Janet Jackson's voice was made for sultry pop numbers, and ASMR! You can see it on display in the above KIISFM video, in which she, yes, does tap on a few objects, but mostly just speaks at us in her naturally quiet, soothing register. I ranked this third because, personally, I don't really get anything from voice ASMR, but if I did I would be in heaven.
4. Erykah Badu
OK, we are pivoting a little. This isn't a professional done ASMR video, but it's so good and relaxing I had to include it. What we have above is a 14-minute Periscope from 2015 of Ms. Badu tending to her garden, washing vegetables, and chatting with her kids. It's crazy that her regular speaking voice is so soothing. But what really takes the cake is the part at the very beginning when she walks to her garden and you can hear birds chirping and the rustling of her kale plants. She is really living in a fairy tale!! My only caveat is to keep the volume at a moderate level because she does raise her voice while talking to her kids.
5. Ariana Grande
God Bless The Arianators for documenting every Ariana Grande Snapchat/Instagram video so this truly great montage of every ASMR sound the singer's ever made on social media can exist. One of the more surprising sounds I like from this video is the effect of high heels on concrete! I'd never thought of appreciating the hollow clack of a Louboutin colliding with the ground but this video has opened my eyes! Thank you Ari and her fans for being pioneers in ASMR research.
Cons for this video include the length (a mere minute and 36 seconds) and the sometimes screechy background noise.
OK, so here's something you should know about me: people eating teeth shatteringly crunchy things is my ASMR kink!!!! So many tingles! Don't shame me! R&B singer Mya eats a nice selection of these things in the first half of this FUSE video, but the execution is a little weird? The veggies are given to her unwashed, and she also spits everything out because she's on an alkaline cleanse? So this probably shouldn't be a video you actively watch. BUT, the crunches are satisfying enough that this one just makes the cut.