Last night, Megan Thee Stallion posted an update from the studio, where she's presumably finishing a feature for Chance the Rapper's forthcoming "debut album," which is due out this Friday. The news here is not that Meg allegedly turned a verse in for inclusion on The Big Day, but rather the deal she struck with Chano: if she got her bars on time, he would have to... eat some broccoli. This matters because, according to patron saint Stallion, Chance apparently doesn't... eat... vegetables?
Chance is the clear beneficiary in this deal: he gets the hottest girl of the summer on his record, and in exchange, she lessens his risk of catching scurvy in the midst of its promo cycle. But, really? No vegetables at all? At 26 years old?
In hindsight, Chance's unhealthy diet probably shouldn't come as too much surprise considering how fiercely he campaigned for Wendy's to bring back spicy nuggets, or his heavily publicized endorsements of Doritos and Kit Kats. But, really, you would think after all this time watching Sesame Street that he might imbue the very elementary principle of a balanced diet. As my colleague David asked on Slack, does the "3" on his hat stand for the years it takes for him to digest anything?
Please, Chance, for the love of God, eat a vegetable. Just because you "got a complex from Complex off the simplest raps" does not mean you're exempt from getting your B-complex vitamins! Think of the phytonutrients, my guy. Think of the clear skin! If not for yourself, please, for the people around you. And while you're at it, you can thank Megan.