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Moments when we were so over
1. Instagram introducing “Reels for TV”
2. Netflix buying Warner Brothers
3. Trump announcing the "Patriot Games”
4. DOGE, the Department of Government Efficiency (what it did and the fact it was called DOGE)
5. Coldplaygate
6. ICE using trending TikTok audio in their horrifying deportation videos
7. When Matcha-Labubu-Dubai-Chocolate-Benson-Boone Crumbl-Cookie became a thing
8. “Moonbeam Icecream” …
9. Sydney Sweeney, in general
10. Sora slop, in general
11. That time “Sam Altman” flexed Chat GPT’s creative writing “chops”
12. Everyone being weird about protein
13. Trump having a crypto coin ????
14. Every time we tried to buy any live event ticket
15. Survivor becoming unwatchable (heads know)
16. And Just Like That :(
17. Paragon shutting down
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Moments when we were so back
1. Zohran Mamdani winning (twice)
2. Andrew Cuomo losing (twice)
3. Tyra Banks’s hot ice cream
4. KATSEYE’s live performance of “Gnarly” at Show! MusicCore
5. I Love LA actually being good
6. The Oklou-issance
7. The Rochelle Jordan-issance
8. The Smerz-issance
9. The Lorde-issance
10. Pink Pantheress, in general
11. Zara Larsson leaving the Khia Asylum
12. Spongebob Big Guy Pants Okay
13. Anytime we drank an Ollipop (unsponsored, but mmmm it’s so good)
14. Every time Adamn Killa did his dance
15. Multilingual Rosalía
16. When Addison put her headphones on
17. Paragon reopening
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Songs from 2024 that we listened to in 2025
1. “One Wish,” (feat. Childish Gambino), Ravyn Lenae
2. “Diet Pepsi,” Addison Rae
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Songs from 2025 that we didn't listen to in 2025
1. “Fourth Strike,” Terror Jr. feat. King Kylie
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Artists who reheated the best nachos
5. Boy Throb reheating TXT’s “heaven” nachos
4. Sunshine reheating mixtape-era Nicki Minaj nachos
3. After reheating Michelle Branch nachos
2.Tate McRae reheating Nelly Furtado nachos
1. Lady Gaga reheating 2009 Lady Gaga nachos
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Comebacks we were most thankful for
1. Robyn
2. Justin Bieber
3. Clipse
4. Lily Allen
5. My Bloody Valentine
6. The Fame-era Lady Gaga
7. Oasis
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Comebacks we didn't ask for
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Comebacks we desperately need in 2026
1. Tove Lo
2. Wendy Williams
3. Rihanna
4. Rihanna but in bold
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12 sexier lyrical euphemisms for p*nis than whatever Taylor Swift wrote on "Wood"
1. “Park that big mack truck right in this little garage” - Cardi B on “WAP”
2. “My ding-a-ling” - Chuck Berry on “My Ding-A-Ling”
3. “Anaconda” - Sir Mix-a-Lot on “Baby Got Back”
4. “Lollipop” - 50 Cent on “Candy Shop”
5. “Corn on the cob” - Tear Da Club Up Thugs on “Slob on My Knob”
6. “Squidward Nose” - CupcakKe on “Squidward Nose”
7. “Rocket” - Beyoncé on “Rocket”
8. “2 inches or a yard” - TLC on “Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg”
9. “Bone” - Too $hort on “Freaky Tales”
10. “Baseball bat” - Ying Yang Twins on “Wait (The Whisper Song)”
11. “A thoroughbred” - Ludacris on “Ride”
12. “One divine hammer” - The Breeders on “Divine Hammer”
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Times Cardi B proved we don't ever wanna beef with her
1. When she won a court case exclusively through viral soundbites
2. When she conceptualized, wrote, recorded, and released "Pretty & Petty"
3. When she was beefing with Ice Spice and somehow dragged Latto into it too
4. When she invoked Nicki Minaj’s full government name to “end” their beef only to keep going
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Things we think Michelle Yeoh would also get a kick out of flipping around
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People we’d cast in Euphoria season 3
1. The Rizzler as Nate’s precocious younger brother
2. The AI cat that won’t stop playing instruments on a woman’s porch as the big bad of the season
3. Cameron Winter as Dominic Fike’s character
4. Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury (Euphoria is now part of the Marvel Comic Universe following the Netflix-Warner-Brothers-HBO-Disney merger)
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Justin Bieber lyrics that prove he’s always stood on business
1. “Oh, for you, I would've done whatever” - “Baby”
2. “Yeah, I know that I let you down, is it too late now to say sorry now?” - “Sorry”
3. “My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone” - “Love Yourself”
4. “Midnight 'til morning, call if you need somebody I will be there for you (I will be there for you)” - “Hold On”
5. “And maybe that's the price you pay for the money and fame at an early age” - “Lonely”
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Rap music videos we wish we could've watched on an IMAX screen
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Artists who should also go back to their real name like Kenneth Blume (FKA kenny beats)
1. Snoop Dogg, real name Calvin Broadus Jr.
2. Bruno Mars, real name Peter Gene Hernandez
3. Calvin Harris, real name Adam Richard Wiles
4. Gunna, real name Sergio Giavanni Kitchens
5. Dido, real name Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong
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EsDeeKid lyrics that hint he might actually be Timothée Chalamet
1. “Fuck gold, I want platinum” - “Phantom”
2. “Louis-Louis-Louis V sandals (Sandals)“ - LV Sandals”
3. “Baggy Prada jeans, and me hoodies made of black fox” - “Gracias”
4. “Keep a mask up on me face, kid / And it’s all black, gotta lie low” - “Century”
5. “Lad, me life’s kinda feeling like a movie” - “5am” (self explanatory)
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6 iconic 7s
1. The 7 seas
2. The 7 deadly sins
3. The 7 days of the week
4. The 7 dwarves
5. Se7en, the film where Brad Pitt says, “What’s in the box???”
6. 7, the one who ate 9
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Alternative listening habits we tried to get off Spotify
1. Buying a 50-count box of vintage CDs from eBay
2. Finally listening to the mixtape my high school boyfriend made for me in 2016
3. Joining a community choir
4. Buying an iPod (for the aesthetic and the function)
5. Radio Garden (global internet radio player)
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Celebrity brand partnerships that stressed us out
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Times North West proved she’s cooler than us
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People who should have a smoothie at N.Y.C.'s new Erewhon bar
1. Ice Spice, it includes cayenne
2. Jay Gwuapo, it includes a pair of Timbs to-go
3. Cash Cobain, it includes rum punch
4. Curtis Sliwa, it includes a bagel
5. Cole Escola, it includes whiskey
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White Rapper Power Rankings 2025 (Worst to Best)
15. Tom MacDonald
14. ian
13. $uicide Boy$
12. Bhad Bhabie
11. Yung Lean
10. 2hollis
9. Jorjiana
8. Yeat
7. Justin Bieber
6. Nettspend
5. Brennan Jones
4. Maxon (R.I.P.)
3. 1900 Rugrat
2. EsDeeKid
1. Lil Shine
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The wildest Rio Da Yung OG bars that almost made us crash our car
1. “My son got on some Amiris with a roll in 'em / And he only seven years old, n***a” — “OFF-RAP”
2. “You can't compare your man to me, he very poor / Mix the Tris with the Quagen, that's very demure” — “Rap War”
3. “We was fuckin' for two hours, think my back broke / Bitch said my dick little, but I cracked, though” — “Do Dat”
4. “I done took so many Percs, my face different / N***a, I was takin' fentanyl Percs and I ain't feel it” — “Cousin Killed”
5. “On a eight-hour pass, I made a quarter-million / I hope I don’t go to hell for aborting children” — “WYDT (What You Do Today?)”
6. “Man, this bitch strong as fuck, we start wrestlin', bro / She told me if I lose, I'd never get no neck no more / I did a special move, her neck done broke” — “2:52 AM in Atlanta”
7. “I stand on so much business I don't own a chair / I'm with a young smacker, he done killed more people than Corona did” — “Sneaky B”
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Artists who would create an AI of themselves
1. Nicki Minaj
2. Playboi Carti
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Times we were fooled by AI
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Max B tweets we broke the retweet button on
1.
2.
3.
4.
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Artists who should also have a Substack
1. Erykah Badu
2. That mysterious bald guy who scored The Brutalist
3. Frank Ocean
4. Matty Healy
5. Fiona Apple
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Times Zohran Mamdani's smile gave us hope
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Fictional places we wanted to visit in 2025
1. Khia Asylum
2. A Saja Boys concert from KPop Demon Hunters
3. Gag City (before it went fascist)
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Books The FADER staff read and loved in 2025
1. On Beauty by Zadie Smith
2. I Regret Almost Everything by Keith McNally
3. Stoner by John Edward Williams
4. Status and Culture: How Our Desire for Social Rank Creates Taste, Identity, Art, Fashion, and Constant Change by W. David Marx
5. Lonely Crowds by Stephanie Wambugu
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Ranking the top 10 best years for music
10. 2024 (specifically May 4, 2024 at approximately 7:50 p.m. EST)
9. 1994
8. 1999
7. 2013
6. 1400 B.C. (creation of the oldest-known song “Hurrian Hymn to Nikkal”)
5. 1981 (Beyoncé's birth)
4. 1984
3. 2017
2. 1808 (Beethoven completes Symphony No. 5)
1. 2016
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Hyperspecific music list ideas we had that we won’t be writing
1. The top 88 iconic CD’s that prove it’s the superior format to celebrate 46 years of the CD player
2. All Megan Thee Stallion songs, ranked (in honor of 2026, the year of the horse)
3. The top 1001 Johns of music history, ranked
4. The 100 best songs that sound like they could've been released during Medieval times
5. 67 songs that feature numbers in them, ranked