The FADER Presents: LISTMANIA 2011!

December 18, 2011

Like every year, 2011 was a great one for music. With FADER's sixth annual Listmania, we look back at some of our favorite, strange and funny moments. Most of them have to do with Drake. See you next year!

Top 24 Sleaziest Weeknd Lyrics, Ranked in Order of Sleaziness
24. Trust me girl, you wanna be high for this
23. I know your thoughts, oh you bout it bout it
22. I can't feel a damn thing, but Imma touch you right
21. Bring your body baby, I could bring you fame
20. I wanna fuck you, I wanna fuck you, I wanna fuck you
19. You gotta taste it, feel it, rub it on me baby
18. Fuck me while I'm faded/ Feel that through my denims
17. Baby, I could be your best friend
16. Baby, you don't need your best friend/ Cause I got everything you want
15. But you're turning 23, so I'll fuck you if you need
14. The more of you the merrier
13. Girl, bring your friends, if you want, we can share
12. Got a girl who likes girls, so won't you play?/ She gon' make you like girls
11. We can make a movie, we can rate it R/ I can bring the camera, baby you can be the star
10. I got two little ladies, I got one little room
9. Girlfriend screaming that I'm creeping out/ If they're not down, better keep em out/ Ex-man hollering, keep him out
8. Rehearse lines to them and then we fuck faces
7. Don't make me make you fall in love
6. Kryptonite in my pants, go ahead go super
5. Baby, you're my Dairy Queen/ Watch you make my baby cream
4. Come to my appointment
3. You are my favorite one night stand
2. Can we take this to your spot? I'm on eviction number two
1. I ain't lied to nobody but me, and you, and me, but you especially

Top Three Things Critics Said about Kanye West's Fashion Line
3. "Next season, Kanye should get a tailor so clothes might fit." -Cathy Horyn
2. "In short, it was dreadful." -Robin Givhan
1. "Kanye West's fashion debut was rap with a capital C." -Lisa Armstrong

Top Five Tumblrs Drake is Afraid Of

Top 25 (Out of 164) People on Drake's Take Care Thank You List, Ranked in Order of Who We Would Like to Party With Most
25. David the Jeweler
24. Gizzle
23. Chubbs
22. The Whole XO Gang
21. The guy across the parking lot that makes the steak sandwiches
20. Andre 3000
19. Stunna
18. The battle rappers at KOTD and URL
17. Erykah Badu
16. Jug
15. Sarah Cunningham
14. Flocka
13. Jamie XX
12. Lenny Kravitz
11. 8Ball
10. Soulja Boy
9. The entire Dorrington Family
8. Mom
7. Lebron James
6. Kevin Durant
5. Mavado
4. Jamie Foxx
3. 40
2. Serena Williams
1. Nicki Minaj

Top FADER TV Bloopers

Top Two Muppets of 2011
2. Muppets of The Muppets Movie
1. Rihanna in the Vita Coco ad

Top Seven Reactions Waka Flocka Had When Now Toronto Broke the News to Him That Apple Founder Steve Jobs Had Recently Passed Away
7. Damn, that's bad news man.
6. Wait, that's the Mac guy? He died?!!!
5. He helped a lot of people.
4. I couldn't even thank him, he made my career.
3. Jesus Christ, Miss Info! You're telling me everything.
2. Oh man, we're not gonna have no more Apple computers?
1. Oh man, I gotta tweet about that.

Top Five Frank Ocean Lyrics That Sound Like Excerpts of Dialog From The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
5. You let yourself inside with no respect for privacy
4. I woulda put tints on my windows but what's the difference
3. I can't feel my face. What are we smoking anyway?
2. Baby, I still got one bullet left in my nine
1. The entire earth is fighting, all the world is at its end

Top Six Jamie XX Related Moments in Music
6. Drake f. Rihanna, "Take Care"
5. Radiohead, "Bloom" Remixes
4. Jamie XX Fact Mix
3. Gil Scott-Heron and Jamie XX, We're New Here
2. Jamie XX, "Far Nearer/Beat For" 12-inch
1. Adele, "Rolling in the Deep" Jamie XX Remix

Top Four Hours of LCD Soundsystem's Final Show
4. 3rd hour
3. 2nd hour
2. 4th hour
1. 1st hour

Top Three Raps About Naps
3. Some slept on me, other niggas took a nap. -ASAP Rocky, "Out of this World"
2. Real hustlers don't sleep, we taking naps. -Juicy J, "Real Hustler's Don't Sleep"
1. Got racks on racks on racks, naps on naps on naps. -Wiz Khalifa, "Racks (Remix)"

Top Three Artists Schnipper Fell Asleep While Watching (No Offense)
3. Dungen
2. Active Child
1. Portishead

Countries The FADER Visited in 2011
Dominican Republic

Top Seven Runner Up New York State Cities Tyler, The Creator Considered Before Going With "Yonkers"
7. Katonah
6. Hunter
5. Kiryas Joel
4. Oneanta
3. Buffalo
2. Coxsackie
1. Jewett

Top Nine Nguzunguzu's Remixes
9. Dubbel Dutch, "B Leave"
8. Sleep Over, "Romantic Streams"
7. LOL Boyzs, "Spirals"
6. Gang Gang Dance, "Chinese High"
5. Femme En Fourrure, "Bronco"
4. Jhene Aiko, "Stranger"
3. Ayshay, "Warn-U"
2. Rainbow Arabia, "Without You"
1. Munchi f. Mr Lexx, "Shottas"

Top Three NFL Cooking Dances

3. Aqib Talib Exuberant Interception Cooking Dance

2. Stevie Johnson Swag Out the End Zone Cooking Dance

1. Desmond Bishop Insane Sack Fist Mash Cooking Dance

Artists We Hope to Hear More From in 2012
Earl Sweatshirt
Jhene Aiko
Erika Spring
Grizzly Bear
Purity Ring
Jai Paul
Yung LA

Top Two Disdainful Names of Omar-S Releases
2. "Here's Your Trance, Now Dance"
1. It Can Be Done, But Only I Can Do It

Top Two Names For 2 Chainz
2. 2 Chainz
1. Tity Boi

Four Names That Beyonce and Jay-Z Should Choose for Their Forthcoming Child
4. Sasha Carter-Knowles
3. Brooklyn Carter-Knowles
2. Statue Carter-Knowles
1. President Carter-Knowles

Top Eight Lyrics from Beyonce's 4 That Inspire a Belief in the Institution of Marriage
8.. So in love, I don't care what they say, I don't care if they talking tomorrow
7. It hurts my pride to tell you how I feel/ But I still need to, why is that?
6. Boy your lips taste like a night of champagne
5. Nothing's perfect, but it's worth it after fighting through my fears
4. Ladies, if you love your man show you the flyest/ Grind up on it, girl, show him how you ride it
3. Still all up on each other, ain't a damn thing change
2. Yup, I buy my own, if he deserve it, buy his shit too
1. There's ups and downs in this love/ Got a lot to learn in this love

Top Four Girls Lyrics That Inspire Nothing Better Than Throwing in the Towel
4. If somebody somewhere dies, well who cares?/ No you don't
3. We're all gonna die/ We're all gonna die/ We're all gonna die/ We're all gonna die
2. Don't you know I'd hold you?/ If I could find a way/ If I could only catch you/ If only you would stay
1. Oh god I'm tired/ My heart is broken/ It's so hard to be all alone and so far, so far away from home

Top Six Things Naomi Zeichner’s Dad, a Retiring Professor of Psychology, Said About Vybz Kartel After Reading FADER #74
6. Sounds like a shrewd businessman.
5. Best is to describe folks without calling them names, that is, not giving diagnostic labels.
4. His need for control is something that many have but, in particular, when one hates to be criticized (perhaps afraid of it).
3. A tad manic at times (needs little sleep).
2. He sound like a very "energetic" dude, perhaps a bit substance-induced, with a good measure of narcissism ("I am the best").
1. I would tread lightly when characterizing someone, particularly in public.

Top Six Lyrics From Panda Bear’s Tomboy That Not Only Prove But Insist That Noah Lennox is Our Great Moses, Parting the Red Sea of Horror, Mystery and Confusion to Secure Us Safe Passage to the Path of Truth, Calm and Goodness (Again)
6. I always thought I'd move further from, further and further and further and even further from the very people closest to me
5. And when I slow it down, it's clear just how it's what they don't say that's what counts
4. I'm not down to keep up, to keep up trying to keep up
3. Is it wise to know what wisdom is?
2. Some might say that to win is not all that it's about, it's just a macho thing to say/ But there is not a thing more true or natural than wanting to win
1. It's not too late, it's not late to keep it real

Top Four Lokos DJ Khaled Drinks While Staring Out at the Gloomy Miami Skyline Pensively in the "I'm On One" Video
1. Watermelon

Top Nine Dudes Who Made Love to Kelly Rowland's "Motivation"
9. Fabolous
8. The-Dream
7. Jeremih
6. Mario
5. Trey Songz
4. Busta Rhymes
3. R. Kelly
2. Diplo
1. Lil Wayne

Top Five Artists Bon Iver Covered That Made Parents Happy
5. Bjork
4. Don Williams
3. Bob Dylan
2. Peter Gabriel
1. Bonnie Raitt

Significant Figures in History That Have Equal or Less Days Dedicated to Them Than Bon Iver
4. Jesus
3. Martin Luther King Jr.
2. Veterans of war
1. Presidents

Best Pret a Manger Lunch Soups
12. Yellow Split Pea
11. Potato and Leek
10. Butternut Squash and Apple
9. Miso
8. Porcini Mushroom Risotto
7. Chicken Noodle
6. Italian Wedding
5. Manhattan Clam Chowder
4. Navy Bean and Bacon
3. Moroccan Lentil
2. Tomato and Garden Vegetable
1. Hearty Turkey Chili

Top Seven "Marvin's Room" Remixes
7. Chris Brown, "Marvin's Room Remix"
6. Teyana Taylor, "Her Room (Marvin's Room Remix)"
5. Sammie, "Marvin's Room Remix"
4. Lil Wayne "Marvin's Room"
3. Drake, "Marvin's Room (Chopped and Screwed by OG Ron C)"
2. Jhene Aiko, “Do Better Blues Part 2 (Marvin’s Room Remix)”
1. Jojo, "Marvin's Room (Can't Do Better)"

Top Nine Weirdest, Best Beats Soulja Boy Rapped Over (In No Order)
"Came Out the Water"
"All Gold Everything"
"Pretty Boy"
"Pick Up the Phone"
"Came Out the Water"
"Zan With That Lean"
"I Love My Haters"
"The First"
“Wanna 69"

Top Four Basic Bitch Brands
4. Gucci Gucci
3. Louie Louie
2. Fendi Fendi
1. Prada

Top Nine Cruises Announced, Ranked From Most to Least Awful Sounding
9. The KISS Kruise with KISS
8. VH1's Best Cruise Ever with Train, Lifehouse, Colbie Caillat, The Script, Safetysuit, Alpha Rev, Mat Kearney, Thriving Ivory, Civil Twilight, One eskimO
Ships and Dips 4 with Barenaked Ladies and Guster
7. NKOTB Cruise 2011 with New Kids on the Block
6. Chillin the Most Cruise with Kid Rock
5. Holy Ship! with Diplo, Fatboy Slim, Rusko, A-Trak, Steve Aoki and Skrillex
4. The Weezer Cruise with Weezer, Dinosaur Jr., Sebadoh, Gene Ween, The Antlers, Wavves, Yuck, Free Energy
3. Bruise Cruise with Fucked Up, King Khan & the Shrines, Thee Oh Sees, The Soft Pack, Mikal Cronin
2. Love Letter Cruise with R. Kelly
1. Land of the Ice Bears: An In-Depth Exploration of Arctic Svalbard with fjords and walruses

Top Two Things Sam Hockley-Smith Got Outraged About
2. Not getting a promo copy of some ambient album
1. When Wiz Khalifa claimed, to my face, in February, 2011 that his high school stoner buddy comedy with Snoop Dogg was coming out April 20th, 2011 even though he was "still waiting for Snoop to read the script."

Top Seven Lines From the 13-minute "Racks" Remix
7. He might have the same whip, but check out how I roll mine. -Nelly
6. All I sold is hundos, where the fuck my twenties at? -Young Jeezy
5. Couple of whi-whips that I ride like yachts (yachts). -Trae
4. Clap, clap, go, go, go, go, go, Flocka! Clap two times if you druuuunk. -Waka Flocka
3. Got bills on top of bills, scales on top of scales. -Yo Gotti
2. I told her “Bring that money back” like all them racks is Nordstrom’s -Wale
1. Now my life ain’t my life no more, I told you, nigga, it’s a wrap.-Wiz Khalifa

Top Four Weed References in Fashion
4. Minnow Bathers all-over marijuana print one-piece bathing suit
3. Wood Wood Bong T-Shirt
2. Vena Cava pot print dress
1. Wavves and Mishka Black Bart stoner bootleg

Top Nine Moments in Diplowatch 2011
9. Diplo modeling luxury Alexander Wang hoodies
8. Diplo not giving a shit about the Grammys
7. Diplo updating his list of hot girl Tumblrs
6. Diplo looking at birds, sweating and recording in Jamaica
5. Diplo getting into a Twitter fight with Venus X
4. Diplo getting a manatee with a machine gun tattooed on his ribs
3. Diplo not being friends with MIA anymore
2. Diplo having a kid named Locket
1. Diplo modeling turtlenecks in GQ

Top Seven Dogs in Real Estate’s "It's Real" Video

Top Eight References to Zola Jesus’ Height
8. “Contrasted against a three-piece band of dark-haired males all wearing black tee-shirts, the 5’9″ Russian-American glowed like an angel throughout the powerful four-song set.” -Ryan Bort, KEXP
7. “Otherwise, it might be hard to believe that the dark, brooding electronic music is all the work of a 4’9”, 90-pound, Russian-American with bleach-blonde hair… same goes for her paralyzing, operatic vocals.” -Ryan Bort, KEXP
6. “Zola Jesus is a less than 5 foot, less than 100 pound vocal powerhouse; her voice, which carries tones of Stevie Nicks and Grand Opera, is unmistakably her own.” -Nikki Volpicelli, Oregon Public Broadcasting
5. “The singer herself was invisible to anyone past the first three rows of the jam-packed (Le) Poisson Rouge, although her voice is another story.” -Puja Patel, Village Voice
4. “Four inches taller but still just teetering at a diminutive 5'4", she looks like someone else in the photo—an anonymous Hollywood starlet, shirking the paparazzi on any given sunny LA day.” -Amber Bravo, FADER
3. “Standing at only 4'11", perhaps too much has been made of the little girl/big voice thing; while the intensity of her stage performance is striking, too often it is regarded as something of an oddity.” -Zach Kelly, Paper
2. “Writers often point to Danilova's size (she is rather petite), sometimes marveling at how such a big sound can come out of her, as if she is a 4-year-old singing opera on America's Got Talent.” -Jessica Hopper, LA Weekly
1. “How does a 5'2", 22-year-old girl from rural Wisconsin become the enigmatic and bewitching Zola Jesus?” -Mark Lore, Spin

Top 12 YouTube Tags on This Video of Parents and Children Dancing to Zola Jesus on Chicago Public Access

12. Myspace
11. Dragon Ball
10. Deleted
9. Hair
8. Punk
7. Pop Music
6. Scene
5. World
4. Goth Subculture
3. Puppets
2. Kids
1. Dragon

Top Three Things Our Moms Said About Adele
3. Who is this Adele person I keep hearing about?
2. I really love Adele.
1. Is this Adele song popular?

Top Two Lil Wayne Outfits
2. Nicki Minaj dressed as Lil Wayne in the Birdman "Y.U. Mad" video
1. Lil Wayne wearing leopard print jeggings at the VMAs

Top Five Overtly Religious Lyrics on The RapturesIn the Grace of Your Love
5. When will a ray of light lift my own self-hatred?
4. But don't give up/ Look to the light/ I'll see you on the other side
3. I welcome you back into my heart/ My spirit/ Nourishing spirit
2. You got my flying, flying in your love/ Your love is high and shining from above
1. Let me hear that song/ How deep is your love? Oh how deep is your love?/ Hallejuah, hallelujah

Top Five Andre Leon Talley Tweets That Could Get Him Fired from Vogue
5. I am hungry for some black eye peas, onions and grilled sardines. That's a great healthy dinner. Someone put that on a menu, somehwere????
4. I just love my new holiday shoe of choice, Ugg boot in sable color! Makes me happy, cozy, warm!
3. @SandraBernhard Well we never went to Zucotti Park? We need to take time out and do the real stuff that matters.
2. @chelseahandler Get Kim Kardashian on chair and ask her where's all the money, honey! We need a refund, a mental refund from her mayhem
1. If i were going to go to a Halloween party, I would be dressed as me as a baby in a the best little sailor top and shorts, in a pram!

Danny Brown’s Top Seven XXX Insults
7. Do the pretty girl rock even though you ugly
6. What you write is all vagina/ What I write is Wall of China
5. Ready to hit studio and shit on yo mixtape/ Nah, literally, shit on your mixtape/ Wipe with the credits, leave stains on the jewel case
4. Guess who’s the little bitch? That’s you
3. You fell off like Tom Selleck in a Celica
2. I know you think you know everything, but you don’t
1. You need a stylist/ Also need a tutor

Danny Brown’s Top Eight XXX Boasts
8. The Shakespeare of sixteens, dipping my ink pen/ They made a sculpture of me but my dick was too thin
7. Risks I take, you’ll swear I had balls the size of beanbags
6. My baby mama a hood rat, but now I gots me a model
5. Sent ya bitch a dick pic and now she need glasses
4. Laughing at you peasants cause my penmanship is excellent
3. Never learned to rap, always knew how
2. The flow can make Gandhi grab the burner and shoot shit/ Rhymes that’ll make the pope wanna get his dick sucked/ Have the Virgin Mary doing lines in the pickup/ Make Sarah Palin deep throat til she hiccup
1. The way the way these bitches on my cock/ You’d swear it was 1985 and Teen Wolf just dropped/ And my name was Michael J. Fox/ But my name is Danny Brown/ I got some weed in my sock

Top Four Remixes of Britney Spears
4. R. Kelly "Till The World Ends (Remix)"
3. Salem "Till The World Ends (Remix)"
2. Nicki Minaj and Ke$ha "Till The World Ends (Remix)"
1. Alex Frank singing "Till The World Ends" off-key at his desk

Top 23 Musicians that Occupied Wall Street
23. Jay-Z (Manufactured "Occupy All Streets" shirts that did not benefit Occupy Wall Street)
22. Kanye West and Russell Simmons (NYC, brief and bejeweled appearance at Zucotti)
21. Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson (NYC, Lincoln Center Occupy protest)
20. Amanda Palmer of Dresden Dolls (Oakland, Portland, Vancouver, Seattle, Boston, NYC, recorded tribute song)
19. Die Antwoord (NYC, visited Zuccotti)
18. David Banner (NYC, visited Zuccotti)
17. Lupe Fiasco, (Oakland, spoke)
16. Zack de la Rocha (Released a poem dedicated to the Occupy movement)
15. Tom Morello (NYC and LA, performed and gave out concert tickets)
14. Graham Nash, David Crosby, Jackson Browne, Devo, Third Eye Blind, Yo La Tengo, Lucinda Williams (Contributing songs to Occupy This Album, a fundraising compilation)
14. Miley Cyrus (released Occupy-supporting video, “Liberty Walk”)
13. Kyp Malone, members of Liturgy and Oneida (Recording a collaborative benefit album)
12. Immortal Technique (NYC, visit and speech)
11. Talib Kweli (NYC, performed “Distraction (Occupy Wall Street Freestlye)”
10. Q-Tip (Released solidarity video in anticipation of #N17 day of action)
9. Killer Mike (Atlanta, spoke at rally)
8. The So So Glos, Ted Leo and The Pharmacists and Titus Andronicus (NYC, organized Brooklyn benefit concert)
7. Bun B (Houston, spoke at rally)
6. MC Hammer and Mistah FAB (Oakland, site regulars)
5. Jeff Mangum (NYC, played an acoustic set)
4. Boots Riley (Oakland, organizer, led General Strike march)
3. Thom Yorke and Massive Attack’s 3-D (London, DJ’d the Christmas party)
2. 151 Feva Gang (NYC, filmed “Adventures of the Unicorn” video)
1. Philip Glass (NYC, read from his opera at Lincoln Center protest)

Top Fast Food Chains That Let Protesters Use the Bathroom
2. McDonald’s across from NYC’s Zuccotti Park
1. KFC in Egypt’s Tahir Square

Top Five Ice Cream Flavors That Inspired Gucci Mane's Face Tattoo
5. Strawberry
4. Phish Food
3. Vanilla Bean
2. Hazelnut
1. Mint Chocolate Chip

Top Two Face Tattoos
2. Gucci Mane ice cream cone
1. Drake on your forehead

Most Awkward Rihanna Sexual Shit
3. Referring to her own lady parts in the third person as "her" on The Ellen Degerenes Show
2. The lyrics Suck my cockiness/ Lick my persuasion on "Cockiness"
1. Forcing everyone in America to hear "S&M" when they're with their parents at the mall

Top Six Andre 3000 Guest Verses
6. Lloyd f. Lil Wayne and Andre 3000, "Dedication to My Ex (Miss That)"
5. Beyonce f. Andre 3000, "Party"
4. Young Jeezy f. Jay-Z and Andre 3000, "I Do"
3. Drake f. Lil Wayne and Andre 3000, "The Real Her"
2. Lil Wayne f. Tech N9ne and Andre 3000, "Interlude"
1. Ke$ha f. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, T.I. and Andre 3000, "Sleazy Remix 2.0: Get Sleazier"

Top Eight Performances of "Niggas in Paris," on Record, Ranked by Number of Times Performed
8. Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, 1
7-6: Atlanta, 3 and New York, 3 (tie)
5. Miami, 5
4. Boston, 6
3. Detroit, 7
2. Chicago, 8
1. LA, 10

Best Odes to Janet Jackson
3. How To Dress Well's Change Yourself Mix
2. New Look, "Janet"
1. Hudson Mohawke's Pleasure Mix

Top Three Jon Huntsman Daughters, Ranked in Order of Hotness
3. Abby
2. Mary Anne
1. Liddy

Weirdest Things Mariah Carey Did in 2011
4. Posed naked with her husband while pregnant
3. Played sexy Mrs. Santa Claus in video with Justin Bieber
2. Acted super-confused in a Home Shopping Network appearance
1. Forced the hospital to play her own songs while she gave birth to twins

Top Six Artists Whose Names are Hard to Pronounce
6. H8RK
5. Bon Iver
4. Korallreven
3. Stay+
2. Oneohtrix Point Never
1. Tonstartssbandht

50 Words Writers Used to Describe Kate Bush's 50 Words For Snow (In Alphabetical Order)

Top Five Unpublished Gil Scott-Heron Pieces of Wisdom From Our 2010 Interview (RIP)
5. You’re in charge. Why let life control you? You’re living your life. That’s what everyone claims they’re doing, “I’m being myself.” Well, be your fucking self. Sit down and see how you’re doing.
4. You tell people jokes and you’re laughing so hard that you can’t get to the punch line. It whacks out the joke. I tell you like it wasn’t necessarily a jokes. Some people are sitting there waiting for jokes and that’s how you collapse a souffle. It was supposed to rise.
3. In a one-man race, you always know you’re gonna win.
2. Sometimes you see a car wreck and you want to write a song about car wrecks. The spirits put you there so you could see that. You are not as much of your own person as you would like to claim. You are independently free to act or not act, but you’re not independently free to get ideas and be inspired those come from somewhere else and you’re pleased with them because you want to feel that kind of energy that you have when you get a good idea, but you’re not sitting around waiting for it, you’re working on the other ones you fucked up.
1. I’m gonna stop joking with you, man. I’ll say something serious.

The FADER Presents: LISTMANIA 2011!