The FADER Presents: LISTMANIA! 2014

62 lists celebrating the best and worst of 2014 in music, style, and culture.

Top 5 Days Of The Week The Club Goes Up

5. Wednesday
4. Thursday
3. Saturday
2. Friday
1. Tuesday

15 Stages Of Life After Solange and Jay-Z's Elevator Fight

1. Shock
2. Replay
3. Think Solange was right for this, somehow
4. Meme
5. Worry about Beyoncé at that basketball game
6. Gossip about Solange deleting Beyoncé from her Instagrams
7. Realize Solange did not delete Beyoncé from her Instagrams, she just doesnt Instagram Beyonce that much
8. Think Wendy Williams is right, this is all Rachel Roy's fault
9. Rage that the Knowles family is not talking about this yet
10. Rage at Beyoncé and Jay-Z's statement to the AP, which explains nothing
11. Take solace in the 'everything is okay' Knowles family pictures Beyoncé posts on Instagram and her website
12. Conclude that in the future celebrities will communicate exclusively through Instagram
13. Get mad at Matthew Knowles for saying the fight was a hoax to sell concert tickets
14. Think that maybe it was just a hoax
15. Feel dissatisfied and powerless

Top 7 Songs We Never Posted For Some Reason
12 Photographers That Young Thug Took Care To Credit On Instagram (Follow Them!!!)
Top 2 Things We Did On Ello

2. Got on it
1. Never Used It Again

Top 10 Moments For Butts

10. Trick Daddy: "If You Won't Eat Your Girl's Ass, I Will"
9. "J. Lo Made Iggy Azalea Wear a Dirty Swimsuit" by Caity Weaver
8. Rihanna's see-through dress at the CFDAs
7. "Warning: A Column on Butt Play" by Maureen O'Connor
6. The Shmoney dance
5. Fly Young Red's "Throw That Boy Pussy"
4. "Anaconda"
3. Kim's Paper cover
2. Kevin Gates eating booty
1. Someone eating Drake's booty

Words That Were In


bae
fleek
basic
yeet
flex
bruh

Words That Were Out


bae
thot
yaaass
turnt
or nah
ratchet
this could be us but u playin

7 Breakups That Bummed Us Out
Top 10 FADER Mixes
4 Times Lifetime Should Have Just Not

1. When they made an Aaliyah movie
2. When they made a Brittany Murphy movie
3. When they made a Saved By The Bell movie
4. When they made a Whitney Houston movie

Top 4 Babies Dancing To "Tuesday"
7 @Bootymath Tweets That Made Matthew LOL

1. i fuck with jesus because the last three letters in his name are S-U-S

2. smokin on that kids meal

3. damn gurl u wifi material

4. if you crawled into nicki minaj asshole you would turn into stop-motion like james and the giant peach

5. i suck at basketball but im really good at the only girl i ever loved breaking up with me

6. hit a nigga so hard his momma come out the house in basketball shorts

7. alicia loves her man
alicia gets cheated on
alicia loses her mind
alicia finds his car
alicia keys

8 Baby Hair Moments, From Sublime To Most Questionable

1. FKA Twigs in The FADER
2. Rihanna at Dior's Resort Presentation
3. Yohaba Leblasi, modeling for The FADER
4. Hairstylist Illy Lussiano
5. The Blonds' Chola-esque Spring Runway Show
6. DKNY Spring 15 Runway Show
7. Rita Ora's gilded swirls
8. Katy Perry in the "How We Do" video

2 Things Kanye Is Possibly Saying In This Photo

1. "Kylie's hair is distracting"
2. "Who was talking to Drake?"

Top 4 Moments For Trap Phones

4. Childish Gambino and Kari Faux's "No Small Talk"
3. Rihanna's two-piece and trap phone combo
2. Father and iLoveMakonnen's "Nokia"
1. Anna Wintour at the US Open

6 People That Were 2 On In 2014

1. Shia LaBeouf
2. OB O'Brien
3. Busta Rhymes
4. Tinashe
5. Snoop Dogg
6. Drake

Top 3 Animal Noises Migos Make on Rich Nigga Timeline

3. Pigeon coo, on "Rich Nigga Timeline"
2. Dog growl, on "Nawfside"
1. Cow moo, on "Move"

Top 5 Snacks Drake And Nicki Bought (Or Considering Buying) On Their Convenience Store Date

5. Juice
4. Cheetos Puffs
3. Cheez-Its
2. Mystery item from the fridge that Drake says will "shave a good six years off your life for every one you eat"
1. Nutella Dipsticks

Top 4 Tweets By Late 2014 Twitter Adopter Alex G

4.

3.

2.

1.

Artists We Hope To Hear More From in 2015

Rihanna
Wet
Kacey Musgraves
Kanye West
Frank Ocean
Sky Ferreira
Mas Ysa
Deafheaven
Usher
Jai Paul
bo-en
The Artist Formerly Known as Unicorn Kid
Potty Mouth

Top 2 Disappointing Lana Del Rey Moments For Duncan In 2014

2. A Sri Lankan hacker leaking his Lana Del Rey feature a day early
1. Not seeing Emily Reo perform a concert of LDR covers as Lana Del Reo

10 Times That R&B Was Just Plain Weird This Year

1. K. Michelle's saccharine sonic fan-fiction: "Drake Would Love Me"
2. Nick Jonas' transition from boy-band casualty to legit Wonder Bread R&B heartthrob
3. The entirety of FKA Twigs' LP1
4. Mariah Carey ending Me I Am Mariah…The Elusive Chanteuse with a minute-long monologue with a crazy explanation of why her album's title is so crazy
5. Dean Blunt doing another deep genre dive with Black Metal
6. King Louie going full-OVO on the Soprano EP
7. Jonah Hill and Spike Jonze covering "Marvin's Room" at the VICE 20th Anniversary party
8. Lil Silva ditching grime and starting to sing
9. D'Angelo coming back
10. Jeremih getting arrested for attempting to board a plane while it was getting ready to take off

4 Signs Sublime Is Making A Comeback In The Historical Canon, According To Naomi

1. Ty Dolla $ign tweeting "If brad from sublime lived a little longer man"
2. Physical Therapy dropping "Steppin Razor" on his Berlin Community Radio show (40 minutes in)
3. BuzzFeed viral genius Peggy Wang tweeting "Sublime isn't bad"
4. Daye Jack, "Summer Day" sounding so much like "What I Got"

Top 2 Guys With Their Hands In Their Pants Featured In The FADER

2. This guy, by Petra Collins

1. This guy, by Petra Collins

6 Best URL Slugs on TheFADER.com

8 Things We Did While Waiting For Rihanna To Return To Instagram
A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

1. Mourned
2. Bought two copies of the nudie magazine that got her kicked off
3. Considered deleting our own accounts in solidarity
4. Logged back into Twitter for her revival of the TwitPic
5. Revisited her former photo excellence
6. Followed all her homegirls: Melissa Forde, Jenna Rosales, Sonita Alexander, Leandra
7. Followed her glam squad: Mel Ottenberg, stylist ; Adam Selman, wardrobe stylist ; Yusef, hair stylist; Ursula Stephens, other hair stylist
8. Followed her #1 FanGram

Duncan's Top 5 Books That Came Out In 2014

5. Ben Lerner, 10:04
4. Lorrie Moore, Bark
3. Juliet Escoria, Black Cloud
2. Atticus Lish, Preparation for the Next Life
1. Frederick Barthelme, There Must Be Some Mistake

Emilie's Top 5 Books That Didn't Come Out in 2014

5. Alejandro Jodowrowsky, Psychomagic: The Transformative Power of Shamanistic Psychotherapy (2010)
4. Rachel B. Glaser, Moods (2013)
3. Scott McClanahan, Hill William (2013)
2. Joan Didion, The White Album (1979)
1. Lorrie Moore, Self-Help (1985)

Top 2 Ways Lunch Money Lewis Says "Pat The Pum-Pum" in "Trini Dem Girls"

2. The way he says it the first seven times
1. The way he says it the eighth time

Top 5 Lyrics About Drinking Booze From Iceage's Plowing Into The Field Of Love

5. I want to hear the silence in my drunken comfort.
4. I will outnumber. I will outdrink.
3. How many more days of disorder? Of drunkenly raving around?
2. One hundred Euro wine. I do believe in heaven and I do believe it's time.
1. And when I fall, I'll bring it all down here with me—soaked in alcohol.

Top 9 Rap Accessories

9. Dej Loaf's heart glasses

8. Metro Boomin's bandana

7. Rick Ross' pears

6. Kanye's Chelsea boots

5. Young Thug's infinity scarf

A photo posted by Young Thug (@thuggerthugger1) on

4. iLoveMakonnen's mannequin head

3. Cam'ron's capes

2. Rae Sremmurd's ski goggles

A photo posted by Rae Sremmurd (@raesremmurd) on

1. Migos' matching chains

5 Best Tweets From IRL Deidre Dyer Bot @DDSaysNoThanks

5. You'll premiere any honey dip with half a mixtape.
4. Next time you want to talk to me send me an iCal invitation.
3. I cannot deal with your emotional Drake shit.
2. Reggae christmas music is the only pure thing left in the world.
1. no thanks.

3 Most Unexpected Across-The-Office Shades From Patrick

1. "That was very four minutes ago."
2. "Not today, not now, not ever."
3. "If you stopped breathing, I would get over it."

6 People Naomi Followed On Instagram Because They Got Invited To The Kimye Wedding
4 Things FKA Twigs Probably Uses Google Glass For

4. Giving negative Yelp reviews
3. Bootlegging movies (just kidding)
2. Taking "Which Twilight Character Are You?" quizzes
1. Watching lyric videos for her own music

Times YG Got Screwed Over

1. When My Krazy Life debuted at #2 because of the Frozen soundtrack
2. When YG didn't get nominated for a Best Rap Album Grammy but Iggy Azalea did


5 Ways Charli XCX Tried To Seem Really Down With Reporters

1. Leaving the reporter a drunken voicemail
2. Confiding she found a pube in her room service
3. Saying "My new attitude is fuck everything"
4. Saying "I Love it" is "one of the most annoying songs"
5. Asking the reporter's opinion on recreational drug prices

Things That May Have Happened To Bobby Shmurda's Hat After He Threw It

1. Friendly neighbor put it in a NYC brown compost bin
2. Chiara DiBlasio and Rowdy Rebel share it
3. Got resold at Lids
4. Seagull brought it to Coney Island
5. Got ensnared in an NYPD surveillance tower :(

Top 3 Concerts Duncan Went To Where Everyone Sat Down

3. Blake Mills
2. Zoe Muth
1. Sturgill Simpson

3 Times Patrick Almost Cried While Watching Boyhood

1. When Mason went to a Harry Potter book-release party at midnight
2. When Mason left for college and his mom said, "I just thought there would be more"
3. When Mason's stepdad made him cut his hair

Top 8 Songs From 2013 That We Listened To In 2014

8. Mathew Lee Cothran, "Failure"
7. Zedd f. Hayley Williams, "Stay the Night"
6. The whole Kelela mixtape
5. Pitbull f. Ke$ha, "Timber"
4. PTAF f. Nicki Minaj, "Boss Ass Bitch"
3. Rich Homie Quan, "Walk Thru"
2. Paramore, "Ain't It Fun"
1. Sky Ferreira, "I Blame Myself"

Top 3 YouTube Videos Uploaded By JJ

3. Cover of Thaiboy's "Sahngri La"
2. This guitar song
1. Yung Lean being scared by someone in a bear costume

Top Magazine Covers By Other Magazines

2.

1.

12 Cool Things That Happened To North West

1. Kidchella
2. Sat front row at Balenciaga at Paris Fashion Week
3. Wore matching Givenchy lace dresses with mom at Paris Fashion Week
4. Shout out on a Tink remix
5. Parents got married
6. Parents got toys of themselves made
7. Skunk halloween costume
8. Painted Birkin bag for mom's birthday
9. Modelling debut in CR Fashion book
10. Ostrich feather cape
11. Hair finally long enough to put in a ponytail
12. Blew kisses to her haters while at the pumpkin patch


6 Things That Sounded Like PC Music That Defenitely Weren't Made By PC Music

1. Zedd's synths on Ariana Grande's "Break Free"
2. The saxophone on Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty to Me"
3. The farty horns on Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off"
4. The twinkly bridge on Hudson Mohawke's "Chimes"
5. Demi Lovato's vocal take on the verses of "Really Don't Care"
6. The rainforest sounds on Coldplay's "Ink"

Top 2 Artists Who Might Know Where That Damn Plane Went
Top 8 Ways FKA Twigs Is Described In Stories In Gossip Blogs About She And Robert Pattinson's Relationship
5 Grime Artists You'll Know More About Next Year

1. Skepta
2. K9
3. Novelist
4. Dark0
5. Murlo

5 Times Ariana Grande Made Us A Little Uncomfortable

1. When she wore cat ears and pawed at a sheet in the "Love Me Harder" video
2. The dance one minute into the "Santa Tell Me" video
3. Her outfit at the 2014 American Music Awards
4. When she went all sexy Tron at the Victoria's Secret show
5. The bird's eye camera angles in the "Problem" video


8 things that Drake didn't steal from Diddy this year

1. The D
2. The I
3. The D
4. The D
5. The Y
6. The D
7. The I
8. The D

Top Sandwich Deidre Invented

1. "The Deidre" (avocado and hard-boiled egg on toasted wheat bread with a drizzle of chipotle mayo)

Emilie's Top 10 Albums of 2014

10. Actress, Ghettoville
9. Taso: Teklife Till Tha Next Life Vol. 1
8. PC Worship, Total Rust
7. Ratking, So It Goes
6. Weyes Blood, The Innocents
5. Nothing, Guilty of Everything
4. iLoveMakonnen, I Love Makonnen EP
3. Arca, Xen
2. Pure X, Angel
1. FKA Twigs, LP1

Top Way FKA Twigs Described Emilie

1. "Naughty Emilie"

Top 5 Cutest Makonnen Twitter Display Names

5. Halloween Makonnen
4. New York Makonnen
3. DIY Makonnen
2. FADER Makonnen
1. Good Day Makonnen

Top 11 Pop Hits In The U.S. That Didn't Originate In The U.S.

11. MAGIC, "Rude"
10. Iggy Azalea f. Charli XCX, "Fancy"
9. 5 Seconds of Summer, "She's So Perfect"
8. Calvin Harris, "Summer"
7. Mr. Probz, "Waves"
6. Sam Smith, "Stay With Me"
5. Sia, "Chandelier"
4. Nico & Vinz, "Am I Wrong"
3. Clean Bandit, "Rather Be"
2. Disclosure, "Latch"
1. Charli XCX, "Boom Clap"

8 Most Embarrassing Things Larry Shazam'd In 2014

8. Maroon 5, "Wake Up Call"
7. Gavin DeGraw, "Not Over You"
6. Mumford & Sons, "I Will Wait"
5. OneRepublic, "Love Runs Out"
4. Fergie, "L.A. Love (La La)"
3. Ed Sheeran, "Don't"
2. Echosmith, "Cool Kids"
1. Idina Menzel, "Let It Go"

Top Characters From Nashville Whose Actors' Real-Life 2015 Debut Albums We're Most Looking Forward To

2. Gunnar Scott
1. Scarlett O'Connor

4 Strongest Comebacks

4. Prince
3. D'Angelo
2. Remy Ma
1. T-Pain

3 Times Liz watched Shamir's "On The Regular" Video At Work

1. When she proposed group karaoke and no one was down
2. When she was convinced there was a mouse under her desk but was too scared to check
3. When she found out she had a really low Uber rating

9 Things That Don't Seem Like They Were This Year

1. Taylor Swift's Grammy performance
2. The Grand Budapest Hotel
3. Our Young Thug cover
4. The plane that disappeared
5. Jennifer Lawrence falling down the stairs
6. 285 Kent closing
7. Broad City
8. Philip Seymour Hoffman's death
9. Adele Dazeem

From The Collection:

LISTMANIA
The FADER Presents: LISTMANIA! 2014